A small group of Friends have embarked on a new set of projects in support of our Meeting. We got approval from Business meeting in December to create Nurture Committee which broadly would provide support for all the “outward forms” of our life as a Quaker community. After being approved to serve as Clerk of Nurture, I met with Ministry and Counsel to work out how we define our committee’s work as distinct from that of Ministry and Counsel. In brief, if an issue, event, or need involves the inward forms, or spiritual practice of our Quaker community, Ministry and Counsel will oversee that work. If it involves the practical support of Friends individually or the Meeting as a community, then Nurture will oversee that work. Our first big project will be to organize and offer pastoral care to anyone who wants it in the Meeting. One exception will be if there are any interpersonal conflicts between Friends, then Nurture will refer those challenges to Ministry and Counsel, as it ostensibly will impact the spiritual practice of our Faith as a community. I want to add that the Business Meeting in February approved Nominating Committee’s proposal of Bridget Roa to be Co-Clerk of Nurture, and I am very excited to collaborate with Bridget in facilitating our Nurture Committee work going forward.
Nurture is bringing pastoral care in a more formal offering in the coming months to our Meeting. I have been observing that more and more as individuals we are going through substantial life changes. Sometimes, we as individuals elect to “go it alone” to manage the challenges in life for any number of reasons. But we have many people who could and would provide compassionate conversational or just physical labor support if they were asked. Asking for help can be a vulnerable experience. So many people are trained from childhood to not let others see weakness or need. And most of us have experienced various forms of rejection at times of need.
So, Nurture Committee seeks to create a pathway for Friends to seek support and to offer support. First, we are creating a list of Friends who want to know when there are volunteer opportunities to provide some kind of support to another Friend within our Quaker community. We are calling that list of people “the Nurturers.” By joining that list you are making no specific commitment to any specific task. You are just saying there are some needs that you are willing to volunteer to provide support for, and would like to receive email announcements of an opportunity. If you want to join the list of Nurturers, please talk to me in person at meeting or at 716-435-9733 or email me at michaeltrittojr@gmail.com .
For Friends who have a need for pastoral care, we are currently creating a google form that will be shared starting sometime in March 2024 as a weekly link on our Weekly emailed newsletter. Or you can contact Bridget at bridgetroa18@gmail.com or me with a request. Pastoral care could be practical help like helping to move to a new home, or needing carpooling ride to something important to you, or setting up a peer conversation regularly for a specific personal topic like a job transition, or the illness or passing of a loved one, or just to have some company with someone you trust.
We hope that Nurture will foster more willingness to give and receive personal support within our Quaker community. I have learned something about help and equality both through conversations within Alternatives to Violence Project (AVP) and New York Yearly Meeting’s ARCH (Aging Resources Consultation Help) program. It is a form of privilege culture to project a status imbalance between those who give help and those who receive help. This is not just or healthy in terms of our humanity and spiritual practice. We receive the loving spirit from any experience in giving and receiving from the heart. So, for me I am learning that asking for help when I need it is a sign of being more open to spirit that I encounter in my brothers and sisters around me. Nurture Committee hopes to create a safe, easy, and rewarding way for us Friends to give and to receive from each other.